productive things to think about besides men

by christycelia

“I am awake and feel the ache.” – Regina Spektor


your memory is like
the book I pulled out from the shelf last week
flipped through some pages until
I remembered that the language was buried too deep in
propositions of a future that was never set to come.

written or spoken, words couldn’t do it.
touch couldn’t do it.
we sure as hell
couldn’t do it.

your memory is like
the dance we learned from bluegrass
spun around in circles and taught to the neighbors.
everyone needs a little muse until
it consumes, it eats away all else but itself.

inspiration that stands alone
is nothing but a bubble you can’t pop.
beauty isolated from all else –
is nothing but a twitching butterfly (wings half broken).

your memory is like
Power. I want to tell everyone what it’s like
to stand beside a magnet of repelling forces
I’m not afraid to write that story.
I’m not afraid to tell girls
forever is not pressing
when the present can be realization.

youth is an excuse
but only for so long.

your memory is like
one that hasn’t quite happened
and not even on the brink.
your memory is the future of
all my thoughts
all my rage
all my criss/crossed letters and
every twisted turn down this road.

on the other hand –

your memory is like
that bridge I’ll never overpass
for I know better
than to give up memories
for invisible self.